My enthusiasm is running low and filling me with the same dread I feel when I’m at a café with WiFi and I see my computer battery is low and I don’t have my charger and adaptor.
Which, in reality, is not that big of a deal.
Today is Tuesday. So soon--Monday, August 1--I will be leavin’ on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again...
In some ways, life is going to be so easy and comfortable back in Meecheegan. But, life is still fun and chock-full of learning experiences here. I’m entirely aware that the idea of being able to escape and leave behind my life here is something that doesn’t really happen normally. So, I have to continue to choose to be totally here.
Easier said than done.
Yesterday, I almost cried. I almost ditched plans with a group of people.
Today, I decided, is the last day I’m going to Starbucks--I think.
Tomorrow...well, I’m just not going to worry about it. Today’s enough. At the very least, I have plans to hang out with the one girl that’s been a friend to me this summer.
Part of being here 100% feels like I’m here 250%--hurtling me out of my comfort zone, stretching me, challenging me, scaring me and definitely, bettering me.
One way I have needed to step out of my comfort zone is in accepting invitations to dine at people’s homes. And, due to a) not being where I am 100% b) my idiotic fear that people dislike me and c) a cultural miscommunication, I was totally and accidentally rude last week! I was invited to eat lunch with a family after church, I accepted and then didn’t go to church. I didn’t exactly forget but I didn’t really think I was expected either and I had something else to do. Really, I just didn’t think. At all. Until the next week, when I hurriedly apologized and was just as quickly, and sweetly, pardoned. I realize one reason that I pushed it from my mind was because after inviting me casually, the couple left and said ‘bye without confirming plans. I think the confirmation is essential in the States. Or maybe that’s just me? Anyway, I convinced myself they didn’t really expect me and voila!: accidentally impolite.
So, take people at their word! Period. Letting your 'yes be yes and your no be no' is a good thing to practice and to accept from others. If people say something is okay, it’s okay. If you ask them if they want help and they say no, leave them be: but, one may encounter issues: for instance, here, you have to deny what people want to do to/for you (for example, more helpings of food multiple times)--just remember that. There are, of course, worse problems to encounter. If people invite you over for lunch, they may just want you to come over for lunch. Gee whiz, what a thought!
Because I like adventures, because I want to be sent to some far corner of the world with Wycliffe Bible Translators and because I am me; I chose to stay here to live in another culture and push myself personally and linguistically. SUCCESS! I couldn’t have chosen from many other options that would have beaten me up mentally and emotionally as much as this summer has. I am so thankful for this experience! I have learned a lot--equal parts of Andalucia’s culture and language and a greater understanding of myself and the blessings I’ve received. I will always have fond memories of Sevilla and I am already dreaming of when I can come back, if I can fit it into my future. We’ll see. I mean, I will need a few weeks before I start dreaming about coming back...but it will happen.
And you too can experience (something hilarious and moderately representative of) la cultura andaluz. Check this out:
Así sí…
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